Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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