I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
