I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
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she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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