pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
