Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
