You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
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Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
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OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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