So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
