Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
