She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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