Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize