She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
