Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
