does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
