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2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i will never coherently bang her
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
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