how can u be prego again
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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