He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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