so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
