i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
being pregnant is like rehab
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
