I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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