I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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