i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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