this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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