There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
