All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.