Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.

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  (514): Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight. http://tfl.nu/evaz
  Replies (19) Good night (919) Bad night (4540)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.

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  (919): i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me. http://tfl.nu/ilti
  Replies (42) Good night (10166) Bad night (933)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?

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  (908): how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer? http://tfl.nu/a07e
  Replies (20) Good night (6554) Bad night (1039)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.

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  (203): The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake. http://tfl.nu/g05l
  Replies (13) Good night (10891) Bad night (1176)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he thanks me after handjobs.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  you found the perfect man.

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  (203): he thanks me after handjobs. (1-203): you found the perfect man. http://tfl.nu/eh9t
  Replies (43) Good night (5046) Bad night (1078)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex

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  (620): throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex http://tfl.nu/5t79
  Replies (17) Good night (5811) Bad night (960)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".

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  (647): A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe". http://tfl.nu/rgh4
  Replies (6) Good night (1287) Bad night (2009)
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  (831): View more from California

  I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.

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  (831): I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET. http://tfl.nu/2kw0
  Replies (13) Good night (2488) Bad night (798)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him

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  (308): I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him http://tfl.nu/5d11
  Replies (2) Good night (1297) Bad night (673)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here

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  (210): It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here http://tfl.nu/0r3z
  Replies (4) Good night (988) Bad night (458)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF

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  (202): Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF http://tfl.nu/zpe8
  Replies (2) Good night (841) Bad night (387)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration

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  (617): I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration http://tfl.nu/vmlp
  Replies (5) Good night (532) Bad night (1102)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise

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  (410): I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON (908): Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise http://tfl.nu/ujsf
  Replies (3) Good night (810) Bad night (360)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?

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  (518): Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt? http://tfl.nu/4gjt
  Replies (3) Good night (234) Bad night (746)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.

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  (314): I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work. http://tfl.nu/eou1
  Replies (1) Good night (507) Bad night (275)

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