dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.