Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm home now. bring me food and boobies

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  (781): I'm home now. bring me food and boobies http://tfl.nu/wuzk
  Replies (3) Good night (2439) Bad night (573)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?

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  (210): beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon? http://tfl.nu/djkx
  Replies (17) Good night (3868) Bad night (574)
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  (646): View more from New York

  He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone

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  (646): He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone http://tfl.nu/7e7m
  Replies (13) Good night (5707) Bad night (1024)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.

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  (678): My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed. http://tfl.nu/n0s1
  Replies (14) Good night (6895) Bad night (1764)
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  (718): View more from New York

  The gym has a pool

  (914): View more from New York

  my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"

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  (718): The gym has a pool (914): my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high" http://tfl.nu/pnez
  Replies (4) Good night (3160) Bad night (855)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.

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  (503): I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it. http://tfl.nu/f96n
  Replies (6) Good night (2287) Bad night (571)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.

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  (703): You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter. http://tfl.nu/b2tf
  Replies (4) Good night (2568) Bad night (765)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.

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  (678): I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real. http://tfl.nu/66oa
  Replies (7) Good night (1347) Bad night (835)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like

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  (407): I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like http://tfl.nu/79b0
  Replies (24) Good night (672) Bad night (1143)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.

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  (719): I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster. http://tfl.nu/ckt2
  Replies (8) Good night (1649) Bad night (462)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES

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  (262): PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES http://tfl.nu/1xjy
  Replies (6) Good night (1034) Bad night (348)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.

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  (720): Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy. http://tfl.nu/nimg
  Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  This is what happens when wu tang raised you

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  (920): This is what happens when wu tang raised you http://tfl.nu/8sl4
  Replies (4) Good night (666) Bad night (251)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.

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  (316): Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in. http://tfl.nu/p4v5
  Replies (0) Good night (367) Bad night (214)
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  (562): View more from California

  I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.

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  (562): I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch. http://tfl.nu/mth4
  Replies (2) Good night (1107) Bad night (212)

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