Texts From Last Night

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  (585): View more from New York

  So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.

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  (585): So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag. http://tfl.nu/s1z9
  Replies (17) Good night (9206) Bad night (834)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success

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  (978): Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success http://tfl.nu/y2pz
  Replies (7) Good night (4151) Bad night (905)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.

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  (443): you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life. http://tfl.nu/pccz
  Replies (10) Good night (6377) Bad night (1178)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.

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  (205): I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick. http://tfl.nu/9o5a
  Replies (5) Good night (1726) Bad night (672)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.

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  (615): A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning. http://tfl.nu/fh1x
  Replies (5) Good night (1481) Bad night (760)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.

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  (248): Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed. http://tfl.nu/7r2l
  Replies (10) Good night (3148) Bad night (954)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap

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  (774): Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap http://tfl.nu/vchr
  Replies (3) Good night (1272) Bad night (439)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.

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  (801): We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form. http://tfl.nu/5xht
  Replies (4) Good night (1111) Bad night (500)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.

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  (978): I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/61g0
  Replies (13) Good night (1852) Bad night (1192)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward

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  (414): btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward http://tfl.nu/opuz
  Replies (3) Good night (575) Bad night (336)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.

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  (256): Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people. http://tfl.nu/64sc
  Replies (1) Good night (897) Bad night (282)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?

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  (201): After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society? http://tfl.nu/3qvt
  Replies (0) Good night (571) Bad night (284)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.

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  (720): I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud. http://tfl.nu/er8q
  Replies (0) Good night (734) Bad night (295)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive

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  (602): If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive http://tfl.nu/rx6d
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (300)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?

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  (407): The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right? http://tfl.nu/xl1n
  Replies (0) Good night (374) Bad night (168)

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