didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
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You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.