Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!! http://tfl.nu/a7ta
  Replies (22) Good night (6235) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick. http://tfl.nu/d1ac
  Replies (21) Good night (5863) Bad night (1476)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave. http://tfl.nu/m7xq
  Replies (16) Good night (11983) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever. http://tfl.nu/9nwk
  Replies (7) Good night (1062) Bad night (3465)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka. http://tfl.nu/p7s5
  Replies (4) Good night (5398) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it http://tfl.nu/ag4k
  Replies (8) Good night (2775) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them. http://tfl.nu/3ylo
  Replies (5) Good night (2350) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN! http://tfl.nu/o93p
  Replies (4) Good night (1028) Bad night (1720)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall. http://tfl.nu/64r1
  Replies (7) Good night (4446) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics? http://tfl.nu/kwmb
  Replies (10) Good night (3021) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent http://tfl.nu/pu74
  Replies (6) Good night (567) Bad night (1306)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge http://tfl.nu/ss4f
  Replies (5) Good night (1266) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin. http://tfl.nu/rsir
  Replies (7) Good night (811) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success http://tfl.nu/iacd
  Replies (0) Good night (1020) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night? http://tfl.nu/co1o
  Replies (0) Good night (665) Bad night (349)

Randomize