Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.

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  (541): Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour. http://tfl.nu/t7z3
  Replies (23) Good night (578) Bad night (2632)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.

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  (804): names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving. http://tfl.nu/d6qb
  Replies (8) Good night (3564) Bad night (501)
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  (510): View more from California

  i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.

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  (510): i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him. http://tfl.nu/wohd
  Replies (15) Good night (625) Bad night (4538)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.

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  (248): I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent. http://tfl.nu/jxt2
  Replies (108) Good night (13919) Bad night (1183)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.

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  (775): You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape. http://tfl.nu/xad4
  Replies (33) Good night (5065) Bad night (1068)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?

  (210): View more from Texas

  no

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  (956): is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge? (210): no http://tfl.nu/pkgs
  Replies (15) Good night (1947) Bad night (4995)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.

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  (903): The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while. http://tfl.nu/y23x
  Replies (21) Good night (7369) Bad night (1743)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.

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  (912): There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up. http://tfl.nu/juwj
  Replies (25) Good night (10147) Bad night (977)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.

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  (618): I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera. http://tfl.nu/5ed2
  Replies (4) Good night (2421) Bad night (649)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...

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  (919): Why is there a condom in the dishwasher... http://tfl.nu/a7l1
  Replies (20) Good night (752) Bad night (1146)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.

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  (440): Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me. http://tfl.nu/gd3r
  Replies (0) Good night (825) Bad night (336)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"

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  (319): That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion" http://tfl.nu/w9if
  Replies (12) Good night (2410) Bad night (686)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again

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  (850): If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again http://tfl.nu/wd88
  Replies (1) Good night (569) Bad night (206)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm honored.

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  (712): I don't question myself. That's what I have you for. (402): I'm honored. http://tfl.nu/7y62
  Replies (3) Good night (556) Bad night (342)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?

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  (773): My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean? http://tfl.nu/y06u
  Replies (4) Good night (709) Bad night (254)

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