he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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