WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
