You really coming over, don't trick.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
