The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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