at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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