she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
