Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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