just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
