"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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