Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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