I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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