That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
