your room smells of hookers.
And success
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
