ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
