dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
