just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
