Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
