if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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