Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
