i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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