Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I hate all girls vehemently.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
