the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
