Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
