I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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