talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
