You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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