so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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