is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Randomize
