i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize