I want to stick my p in your. b.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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