wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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