My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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