that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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