winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
