dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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