I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
