What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
