You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Randomize