he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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