So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
My cat gives me a boner
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
