More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
