I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
